Blogs Tips for Self Help

How to not be hard on Your “Self” anymore in 7 creative steps.

A creative way to change how we view and treat our “Self”:

Let’s face it, we have put our “Self” through a lot. Let’s give our “Self” a break and take just a few deserved minutes. Give your “Self” a deep breath before we begin…

Let go… and let these Questions sink in…

1st step

Ok ready? First I want you to think of a few people in your life… Past or present… People that have shown you some kind of love in some way at some point of your life. People who have helped you on your journey of life. Now think of each of their names… say it out loud in your mind. It’s ok if you can only think of one… Did you do it? …Good.

2nd step

Second, pick one unique namea name that you would want to name a future kid of your own… it can be a girls name or a boys name or a made-up name…

If you’re having a hard time thinking of name… then to help it can even be a favorite smell, a place, a flower, or even a feeling… A name that sparks joy?

If you can’t think of a name still… then even think of a favorite character of movie or show you’ve watched. It’s ok to take a few minutes to choose before moving on… It’s not a bad idea to pick a name, because you never know what the future holds.

Now… say that name you chose in your mind. Don’t move on until you got it… Done?

3rd step

Third, imagine that you got a kid of your own with that same name you chose. Imagine them today as a kid grown up to an age where they can talk and have just started to care what others think of their “Self”. Visualize them: Their hair, their smile, their laugh, their personality. Whatever comes to mind…

4th step

Fourth, let’s take a break and do something totally different… (I promise you it will all pull together in the end)… Think back to major negative thoughts you heard or have told your “Self”. It can be things you were told when you were younger or even things that you are still telling your “Self” today. Here are just a few examples, if you can fill in the blanks:

“I’m not good enough at *fill in the blank*

“When I look in the mirror I hate my *fill in the blank*

“I will never be able to …*fill in the blank*

Got those three negative thoughts above? If you can think of more then do it without holding back. Don’t worry, this will be good to get out any negative thoughts with these last few steps coming up next. The more you share, the more you will find healing. We tend to bury the negative… but if we do, they will just come out in other ways, so speak it now and let’s take it’s power away… Take time to really think of those negative things… When you are done you can move on to the last step:

5th step

Fifth, now I want you to imagine your kid with the name you chose above… Imagine they are standing in-front of a mirror. They are crying and feeling alone in a dark room. Imagine they are saying out loud the same exact negative thoughts you had towards your “Self“…

6th step

Sixth, read these five questions below… be vulnerable and really think about the answers and actions you would do:

  • Q: How do you feel towards them?
  • Q: How would you physically comfort them?
  • Q: What would you do for them if they felt they couldn’t?
  • Q: What would you say to comfort them?
  • Q: What advice would you tell them to help guide them through their emotions?

7th step

Seventh and last, Now take those same Answers you just gave above and speak them to your “Self” take them in and allow yourself to receive and heal.

It’s hard to take our own comfort and advice, but this helps us to. That child you imagined is in a way… your inner child. Be nice to your “Self” because you are a person too. Care for your “Self” like you would care for your own child. Comfort your “Self”. Forgive your “Self”. Love your “Self”. Be your “Self”.

Hope you enjoyed this and found some healing.
You can do this every time you have a negative thought pop-up.

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